Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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