Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
