sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
