I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
