Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize