My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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