I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
