Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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