i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
