who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
In the future we'll all be gay
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dick very happy bro
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
