Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize