It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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