guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
