Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
