I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
They should really pass out barf bags in church
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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