i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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