why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
