I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
