If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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