See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you never un-have a 4some
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
