i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
