nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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