the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
