you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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