Don't you send me to vm
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
