Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
