why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
