She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
only if we run a train.
done.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize