Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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