Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
