Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
