There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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