"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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