my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
