i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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