so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
