You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
wow bdsm is so cute
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