Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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