i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
