on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.