We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT