I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
