also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
