We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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