stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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