No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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