# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
