OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Non-Jews are for practice
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
