woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
