day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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