U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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