what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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