dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
