Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
