my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
