By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
