I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
