so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
