At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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