I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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